New Year

It's 6:43 p.m., New Year's Eve.
Instead of tuning my guitar, I'm making toast.
Instead of pulling music out for our New Year's Eve service, I'm fluffing a Pillow Pet, readying a video.
My Boy is sick, and my place is here at home with him.

I was struggling an hour and a half ago to write a New Year's Eve post.  Only I was having trouble, because I don't typically make a list of resolutions and outline a plan for accomplishment.  (Plus, my kids were watching WALL-E, and I felt like I was missing out.  Love that movie!  So I took a movie break, and now I'm back.) 

Sure, I have things I want to do.
I absolutely want to print pictures and scrapbook My Boy's last four years of life.  (Somehow life got in the way of scrapbooking.)
I am determined to finish the One Year Chronological Bible I started when My Boy was born.  I only have 200 pages left, out of 1,640!
But those seem more appropriate for a list of things to do, not so formal as to call them resolutions.

I guess I don't like the word "resolution" either.  "Resolve" seems so close to "resign"---which sounds too much like giving up something you really liked.  Let's choose new terminology for a New Year.

How about "envision"?
What's your vision for 2011?

I guess one of my visions for the upcoming year is trying to acknowledge that I've been given a gift of time---time to slow down and be Momma.  No heavy volunteer duties.  No part-or-full time jobs.

My kids are always flying around, "What's next, Momma?" 
"Where are we going in the morning?" 
My answer is always the same, with closed eyes and a half-smile, "Let's just see what tomorrow brings."

I look back on life, and my prayers mimic their questions.
"What's next, Dad?" 
"Where are we going now?"
"When will we get there?"

And a voice older than time is laughing, saying to me,
"Slow down.  Let's just see what tomorrow brings."

Here's to our New Year---365 days full of possibility!

(Look at that beautiful, empty calendar square!  Wonder what we'll do tomorrow...)

Happy New Year!

-Grace

Christmas Highlights

Some highlights of our week, including: 



*singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus at preschool

*hours spent playing with friends and cousins

*time with our church family

*special, sneaky, surprise gifts---the best kind!

*time to chill with a new Pillow Pet

*playing in the snow with cousins from down South

*new Christmas crafts for a girl who enjoys making things

*the sweet sound of a 4-year old and his electric guitar

*Hartwood Acres Celebration of Lights

When I finally downloaded my pictures from Christmas, there were so many---and so many that I couldn't use.  Shots that were blurry with Christmas excitement and jumping up and down, a visual reminder of busy  visits with extended family and friends.

I actually had a fairly grouchy Christmas, which I've spent a few days thinking about, trying to puzzle over the big question of WHY...

Why did it irritate me so much when My Boy rubbed up against the car in his church clothes?  (I mean, come on, it's not like that hasn't happened before!)

Why was I so disagreeable with my guy over music for church?

Why was I so irritated the day after?  (Yeah, the house was a terrific mess.  And we had way more gifts than one family needs.  But still---it's not like me to be teary and upset.)

From reading other moms' blogs about "The Day", I know that I'm not the only one to feel out-of-sorts  around Christmas.  (Meg Duerksen's husband actually labeled it "Christmas Crash & Burn" when she broke down in tears on Christmas Eve.)  She attributes hers to having unrealistic expectations on herself to make Christmas wonderful for her family.  And I think that has a lot to do with it.  We take our normal selves and assume that for at least 24 hours, we'll be able to pull it all together and have this magical, wonderful holiday.

Hah!

And while I could kick myself for being harsh with My Boy about salt on his clothes and arguing with my guy about music (in front of the pastor, no less!) right before church, here's the reality---that is the very essence of Christmas:  a loving God who sent His son to earth for us.  So that all our sins---grouchiness included---could be forgiven.

Thank heaven. 

Mele Kalikimaka!

If you ever hear that I've up and disappeared, it'll be no secret where I've gone.

In the southernmost state of our union, far away from ice and snow,

where rainbows appear for the asking,

and beauty gently unfolds around every corner---that's where I'll be.

* * * * * * *

"We landed at Kailua, a little collection of native grass houses reposing under tall coconut trees, the sleepiest, quietest, Sundayest looking place you can imagine.  Ye weary ones that are sick of the labor and care, and bewildering turmoil of the great world and sigh for a land where ye may fold your tired hands and slumber your lives peacefully away, pack up your carpet sacks and go to Kailua!  A week there ought to cure the saddest of you all."  -Samuel Clemens, 1866

I thoroughly agree!

Now where's my carpet sack?

Merry Christmas!

xxoo
Grace

*****

(Youtube video courtesy of epf328682.)

Happy Birthday!

Today has been a really good day.  Lots of normal running-people-to-school/helping out with preschool/playdate stuff, combined with many Happy Birthday wishes from family and friends.  A good mix of normal.

My husband tried to order an ice-cream cake from Bruster's for my birthday---but then remembered I'm avoiding wheat---so he searched online and came up with a fabulous treat!  Couldn't ask for a better guy.  :)

Fred and My Boy combined melted chocolate and Krispy cereal* for the crust, pressed it into the pie plate, and refrigerated to harden it.

1/2 was filled with chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream, 1/4 was vanilla, and 1/4 was strawberry.  Melted Ghirardelli chocolate was drizzled across the top.

Celebrating with my favorite people!

Blessed beyond measure. 

It was a wonderful birthday.  :)

---Grace

Ice-Cream Snowball Pie, by Corwynn Darkholme

Ingredients:

2 (4 oz.) bars German sweet chocolate (Fred used Ghirardelli semi-sweet.)

3 tbsp. butter

2 cups crisp rice cereal

2 tbsp. butter

1 pint vanilla ice cream

1 pint mint chocolate chip ice cream (We used chocolate peanut butter cup)

1 pint strawberry ice cream

Directions:

1.  Lightly grease a 9-inch pie pan.  Set aside.

2.  Coarsely chop chocolate.  Set aside 1/4 of it.

3.  To make crust, melt remaining 3/4 of chocolate with 3 tbsp. butter over low heat.  Place cristp rice cereal in a mixing bowl and pour chocolate over cereal and stir to coat.  Using the back of a spoon, press mixture onto bottom and sides of greased pie plate.  Place crust in freezer until firm, 5-10 minutes.

4.  Use ice cream scoop to arrange scoops of vanilla, mint chocolate chip and strawberry ice cream in crust. 

5.  Melt remaining 1/4 chopped chocolate and 2 tbsp. of butter.  Drizzle chocolate over top of ice cream pie and serve immediately.

Note:  To make this a truly gluten-free treat, remember to read all labels and ensure that your ingredients are gluten-free.  For example, Fred used Rice Krispies in mine, which are not truly gluten-free.  Since I only have a wheat intolerance, the gluten in the barley malt does not bother me---for a person with Celiac, you would need to find a gluten-free crispy rice.

View From My Window

We weren't the only ones eating breakfast at our house this morning.

 We often see between five and seven deer while we eat breakfast.  This morning, they hung around for a good hour, trying to find fallen crabapples under the snow.  I was very taken by the light snow sticking to their backs---which they cared nothing about.

It's like having our own petting zoo---except of course, no petting.  That's okay.  We're happy to just watch them graze their way through our woods.

What was the view like from your window today?

The Griswold Family Christmas

One of my favorite movies of all time is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.  Through the entire movie, Clark Griswold is motivated to capture all the various traditional elements of Christmas and tie them together into the perfect family holiday:  the Griswold Family Christmas.



What makes this movie so funny?  I think the humor lies in the very real truths the writers captured.  Deep down, what many of us want for Christmas doesn't lie in the boxes and wrapping paper.  We try to grasp at the straws of a perfect Christmas---the perfect Christmas tree, millions of twinkle lights on our home, extended family gathered under one roof.  We remember fragments of joy from our childhood and try to piece together a meaningul experience for everyone.  We do it out of love for our families and love for the Christmas season.



The problem is, (as Clark found out in the movie), it's just not very realistic.  Why is that?

Here's my opinion.  We're taking Christmas---rich in tradition, culture, and religious significance---and we try to pair that with our extended family.  We think, "Whatever our flaws or disagreements, this is the one time of year when we can pull it all together and have a wonderful holiday experience."  Does your holiday bear any resemblance to the Griswold Family Christmas?

As I posted yesterday, one of the best gifts you can give to yourself and your family is the gift of realistic expectations. Christmas can be a high-stress holiday, but it doesn't have to be.  With a little forethought, it can truly be the most wonderful time of the year.

Some things to consider when crafting your Christmas:

1.  Start at home. 

• By this I mean your home, with the people who live under your roof.  (After all, they're the ones you choose to live with, so they will be most important to consider.)  Especially if you haven't been married long or are facing your first Christmas as a family with children, it's unlikely that you've taken much time to think about crafting your own Christmas traditions for years to come---and how that fits in with your two families of origin. 
• Literally, sit down and make a list.  It's not written in stone, but it's a jumping-off point for years to come.  What is most important to you as a family?  Whether it's attending a religious service, the kids' musical at school, or the Christmas parade in your town, write it down.  If you have kids, they get a voice.  They may surprise you with what is important to them.
• Get your calendar.  Decide which things you would like to do as a family, and write those in first.  Take a few days (I do one per weekend) and write the word "HOME" in capital letters.  These are your days to spend at home.  It doesn't mean you can't do holiday prep on those days, like cookie baking or present wrapping, but it carves time out of your schedule specifically for those activities.  (Remember how much fun it isn't to be baking Christmas cookies by yourself at 1 a.m.!) 
• Like a little more help?  Families With Purpose has a yearly guide to help schedule all aspects of your Christmas holiday at Frazzle-Free Christmas.

2.  Branch out to your extended family.

• Who is this?  Well, if your spouse and kids are your nuclear family, then this means everyone else. 
• How do you want to include them in your Christmas?  Is it important for you to see them on "The Day"? 
• Think about logistics.  How far away does your family live?  This could be a major factor, as the economic cost of spending time with family usually increases with the distance you are trying to bridge.
• Especially when extended families celebrate together, it's very important for everyone to have a realistic idea of what that time together will look like. If there are small children involved, it's important that their needs to come first---naps, snacks, bedtimes, appropriate tv shows, etc. After considering the needs of the little ones, think about the needs and wishes of the rest of the family. Is it important for every member to do every single thing together? What about free time, for hiking or napping or whatever?

3.  Be willing to compromise.
If your holiday involves people other than, well, you, it goes without saying that you may need to compromise on something.  Think ahead of time what means the most to you, and stand firm about those plans.  If there are other activities that you are ambivalent about, those are areas where compromise will be easiest.



Have a wonderful Christmas vacation!

---Grace

(YouTube videos courtesy of hermy1978, awordfromoursponsor, and dejalouielove, respectively.)

Spirit of Christmas Present

Two days ago, I posted my reflection from last year on our holiday traditions.  With the Christmas season in full swing, I'm taking a moment to note what we've kept the same and what we're changing.  Changes will be in green.

* * * * * * *

Purchase Christmas Gifts /Cards Early

This was the first year I've been serious about this, and it paid off. Fred and I had the kids' Christmas presents purchased before Thanksgiving. Then, when an unexpected gift or errand popped up during the two weeks before Christmas, it wasn't such a big deal---because I didn't have to tack it on to a huge list of other things to do. I may have spent a few more dollars this way since I wasn't shopping on Black Friday or the December sales, but sanity is priceless!
Okay, part of this happened.  Fred and I purchased most of the kids gifts right before Thanksgiving, at the best toy store in the world.  That part was peaceful enough.  The whole Christmas card thing was a mess!  I've gone back & forth about the card tradition for years, which is really another post in and of itself. 
What really ticked me off this year was actually picking out the cards.  Target had a good selection of recycled cards; however, every blessed card originated in China.  How on earth does it make sense to "save resources" with recycling, when you're taking a large amount of energy to transport said card?!!  Plus, you have all the human rights issues associated with the Chinese workforce.  And the absolute worst part?  After spending weeks pondering this decision, I ended up purchasing four boxes of cards there anyway.  Because I couldn't find any others in a 25-mile radius that were made in the USA.  Clearly, this requires more thought, way ahead of Christmas 2011.  So as of today, the letter is written & copied, but I need to spend some time today getting them ready to go out.

Advent Traditions---Advent wreath, Advent calendar, etc.
Since we are Christian, Advent is a time of preparation, a time of waiting. Beginning the Sunday after Thanksgiving (roughly), we have four weeks of preparation for Christmas. We light Advent candles and have devotions at dinner. The kids have Advent calendars with Bible verses leading to the birth of the Savior. Four weeks of preparation helps keep Christmas from sneaking up on you.

Advent has been really fun this year.  Grandma purchased a new Advent wreath, since my Noah's ark one broke.  She also bought each child a new Advent calendar, and they've loved opening the windows each morning.

This is probably a good place to point out (get ready for a shock) that our family doesn't choose to put emphasis on Santa Claus. Although it goes against popular culture, Fred and I decided before Jewel was born that we were going to teach her the truth about Saint Nicholas---of his kindness and generosity that was born out of his family's faith in Christ---and how we can follow his example by sharing gifts with family, friends and those in need. It has served us well. Jewel is a perfect joy to watch at Christmas; she revels in each celebration and seems at times to overflow with excitement about what she terms "The best season of the year!!!"
(I have to put a disclaimer here for family and friends who are reading---just because we don't do Santa doesn't mean we judge others who do.  Different families make different choices, and that's okay.)    :)
It's been really interesting this year to hear Micah talk about Santa Claus.  Even though he understands that the real St. Nicholas operated a little differently, Micah loves pretending about Santa.  He and I have been playing a game, where we pretend to be asleep & someone comes and brings a gift.  It was unexpected, since he knows the truth, but I think it's great that he can pretend just the same. 

Family Reunion
Fred's family has a huge Christmas party the first Saturday each December. The only catch is, that means a drive to Maryland or Virginia. Could be stressful, but isn't, because we adore the members from that side of the family. I think it also helps that we know exactly when the reunion will be held, so we can mark it in the calendar months ahead of time. The reunion is definitely a keeper.
We had a wonderful time, as always!

Christmas Tree/Nativity Set/Train
We had planned to set up the tree and the train on the same day. That didn't happen, and it worked out better that way. The kids are at an age where a little excitement goes a long way! For next year we will plan to set the tree up on the second weekend of December, with the train following on the third weekend.
This year, we switched over to a live tree, which definitely meant that there was no way it was all getting done on one day.  Once the kids knew that, we had fun harvesting our tree, bringing it home, and getting it in the stand.  I did the lights that night, and we decorated later in the week.

Live Nativity
We had hoped to find a local live nativity at a church. We inadvertantly ended up at the live nativity that follows a local Light-Up Night parade. It was fun to see the camels, but the kids didn't get as much out of it as they would a live nativity set up for teaching at a church. I'd like to research my options more for next year in this area.
This didn't work out this year either.  There appears to be a lack of churches offering live nativities in our area.

Christmas Program
Jewel's school does a different Christmas musical each year, followed by a recitation of the second chapter of Luke. Their music teacher turns this into a phenomenal event---not to be missed!
This year, it was called Cookin' Up Christmas, a spoof on the popular cooking shows.  Very fun!  Cute hats and aprons for costumes, which was easy.

Christmas Open House
With Haven on the way to completion we wanted to hold an open house for neighbors. We set a date back in November for an open house the third weekend in December. Two weeks before, I bailed. I think it has something to do with the fact that our family has two birthdays in December. I just wasn't up for holding another party, so I did the smart thing and never sent invitations. We will be holding the open house in February or March, which will be a much better time for a party.
No open house!  No plans for an annual Christmas open house.  A month or two from now will be a much better time for a party to fight off the mid-winter blahs.

Rite Aid/Hartwood Acres Light Display
This was the first year that we drove down for the lights at Hartwood Acres. We had a great experience! Tuba Boy took a nap during the 45-minute drive to Hartwood, but we were able to wake him for the lights. If you've never gone, the 3 & 1/2 mile route is ablaze with light and is a sight to behold. Definitely a tradition to keep.
Lines to get in have been 1-2 hours of wait time, which does not bring joy to anyone.  We'll be going the week after Christmas.  Still fun, much less frustration.

Train Museum Show
Granddad is still planning to take Tuba Boy to the train museum. This is something we had to reevaluate this year, as Jewel is not quite as enthralled with trains as she used to be. This seems to be a tradition that we will alter---maybe change it into "The boys go to the trains, the girls go do xyz." I want Tuba Boy to go since he enjoys it, but I don't want to drag Jewel along, as that would translate into a poor experience for all.
This ended up happening the day after Thanksgiving, which worked really well.  It gave the guys something to do while the girls traveled to the Fiesta outlet.

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day Church Services
Our Christmas Eve service was a true pleasure. We were blessed to have R out from Lutherlyn to preach. It was the candlelight service; Tuba Boy asked to hold his own candle this year. Seeing the kids sing along to my favorite Christmas hymns brought an unspeakable joy to my heart.

Christmas morning brought freezing rain, so no Christmas morning service. I would have been more disappointed had we hadn't had such a fantastic Christmas Eve service. As an additional note, if we want to go to Christmas morning service next year, we will have to get up earlier. The kids didn't roll out of bed until 7:30 this morning. It would be difficult to open presents and leave by 9:00 a.m. for church.
We have plans to attend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day---and I've already made notes to get the kids up a little earlier.  The interesting part will be that we are going to have out-of-town company over Christmas---so we've already explained that our traditions do not bind anyone else, and that they don't need to get up early to go to church if that isn't something they really want to do.

Christmas Day Itinerary
We have evolved to opening our presents as soon as the kids wake us up. We gather for a thank-you prayer next to the nativity scene, then the kids unearth the treasures in their stockings. They move on to their bigger presents, which they know are from us, and usually are three to four in number. (Part of that is budget constraint, part is wanting to depart from Affluenza...) Something we encourage is to open a toy and spend time playing with it before ripping into the next gift. It takes longer to open gifts, but it's more pleasant for everyone.
Then we'll break for church, and when we come home...
we'll move on to my parents' house to open presents with them. (For us this is conveniently located next door.)

I hosted dinner this year. I enjoyed preparing the meal for my family, but I'm not locked into preparing certain holiday meals. It's nice when everyone can take turns between being a host and a guest. The next time I cook Christmas dinner, I'm going to aim for a later mealtime. I aimed for 2:00 p.m., and my 20-lb. turkey wasn't ready until 3:30 p.m. Something that turned out well was a recipe I found for rolls that you make the night before and allow to rise in the refrigerator overnight. Another giant success (at least as far as Tuba Boy was concerned) was the inclusion of Grandma's Applesauce Jell-o.
I'm up for hosting dinner this year, since Grandma did Thanksgiving, and since we're having Fred's sister's family visit.  I was very excited to find this this morning:

It's a giant list I made last year of all the things on the menu, including approximate start times for cooking.  My thought was, we make the same things for every big holiday.  I spend a good hour making a shopping list and a timetable every time.  That's silly!  Now I have a time-saving master list.  The only thing I'd like to do at some point is type it up & slide it in a sheet protector.  Sounds like a good project for January.

Christmas Day Hike
Hiking on Christmas was something that Fred and I decided to include early in our marriage. With kids, church, presents and dinner (and limited daylight), this just isn't feasible anymore. So we'll put it on the shelf for now, and retrieve it in the future when we have a little more time in our day.
For the time being, this may have translated into Christmas Day sledding/snowman making.  That's a little higher on the kids' priority list, and our big thing is spending time with them, regardless of the activity.

Christmas Day Feast For Songbirds
A few years ago Fred and I set out to establish a few Christmas Day traditions that didn't revolve around receiving presents. In one of Jewel's Barney picture books the characters set out a feast for the woodland creatures. We've focused mainly on putting out food for the songbirds, with great success. This year we were visited by Downy woodpeckers, Black-capped Chickadees, Titmice, Nuthatches, Cardinals and Juncos. It's a great tool for teaching about giving to others, for caring for creation.
I need to put stuff for this on the shopping list.  I saw a cute craft last year that involved cutting oranges in half, eating the inside, then saving the hemispheres to hold suet feed for the birds.  A craft and a snack!

All in All...
Looking back, I have to say that this year's Christmas was my favorite to date. I feel like we've really honed in on what's important to our family, without feeling pressured to participate in things we don't really care for.

Think about it---some of you are weary and worn, coming off a holiday so fraught with unspoken, unrealistic, unnecessary expectations.  And only some of these expectations are put out by family; some we create for ourselves without realizing it.

I think this especially applies for newlyweds and/or families with young children, because if you haven't been married for long or are facing your first Christmas as a family of more than two people, it's unlikely that you've taken much time to think about crafting your own Christmas traditions for years to come---and how that fits in with your two families of origin. 

(I can say this because when Jewel was a baby/toddler/preschooler, my parents weren't next door.  They were in Ohio.  And we did the traveling in bad weather, staying overnight, putting up with tantrums, too many gifts, etc.)

Especially when extended families celebrate together, it's very important for everyone to have a realistic idea of what that time together will look like.  If there are small children involved, it's important for their needs to come first---naptimes, snacks, bedtimes, appropriate tv shows, etc.  After considering the needs of the little ones, think about the needs and wishes of the rest of the family.  Is it important for every member to do every single thing together?  What about free time, for hiking or napping or whatever?  One of the best gifts you can give to yourself and your family is the gift of realistic expectations, so that feelings don't get bent out of shape.  Christmas can be a high-stress holiday, but it doesn't have to be if we can get everyone on the same page.

Take five minutes. Make a list of what you do at Christmas. What do you enjoy? Put those things on the calendar for next year.  Everyone should get to do their favorite things!  (Sometimes this means compromise.)

What are you ambivalent about? If it won't create World War III, get rid of it!  (And if it will be the end of the world, all parties need to be willing to compromise and find a solution that will satisfy as many people as possible.)

Stick your list in a place where you'll be sure to spot it right after Thanksgiving.  (I neglected to do this!) You'll be on the right path to creating a meaningful holiday with the people who matter most.  :)

Only one week left!  Woohoo!
-Grace

Pleased and Honored

(Working under a White Roof today!  This picture is from the 18" snow of February, but looks very much like our snow-covered roof outside today.)

When I finished my long-term subbing job last month, I had a few goals I wanted to work on.  First, there was the article about Haven that appeared in our local paper---which necessitated LOTS of cleaning.  The second goal I wanted to focus on was growing my blog.  The name BlogHer appears on many sites that I visit, so I thought I'd check it out.

I wasn't sure what I was in for when I jumped on BlogHer last week.  I remember reading something about the BlogHer platform not being a popularity contest, and that gave me hope.  I spent a few days exploring the site, learning how to use Chatter and reading/commenting on blog posts.  Lots of blog posts.  (Makes you realize just how many bazillions of us there are in the blogosphere---and how rare it could be for anyone to take notice of your blog!)

Anyway, I shared a recent post from Blue Roof on BlogHer---the one about green options for children's gift exchanges---and what do you know?  They featured it on their front page today!  Woohoo!  I feel very pleased and honored to be chosen.

If you are a new visitor, welcome to Life Under a Blue Roof.  Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read.

If you're a regular, I want to say "Thanks!"  The connections I've made through blogging are amazing, and I appreciate the support my friends have given along the way.  It's been a lovely journey so far.

xoxo

Grace 

The Ghost of Christmas Past

This is actually a post I ran last year on Christmas Day.  I remembered it the other day, and decided I wanted to compare it to our plans for this year's celebration.  I'll be back tomorrow to tell you what we're keeping the same and what we're planning to change.

* * * * * * *

It occurred to me this morning that my parents have given me the best Christmas gift of all. They have given Fred and me the freedom to choose how we want to craft our Christmas holiday with our children. Intangible, it is nonetheless a very generous and meaningful gift. Think about it---some of you are weary and worn, coming off a holiday so fraught with unspoken, unrealistic, unnecessary expectations. Note: only some of these expectations are put out by family; some we create for ourselves without realizing it.


It has taken us fifteen years of life together to craft our Christmas rituals and traditions.

Before Thanksgiving this year, Fred and I sat down to make a list. (I can't take credit for this; it is part of the Frazzle-Free Christmas I referred to in my Christmas card post.) On our list we were to discuss all available rituals/plans, and decide as a family those in which we would like to participate. I decided today to reflect on this list and see if we need to tweak anything for next year.

Purchase Christmas Gifts /Cards Early
This was the first year I've been serious about this, and it paid off. Fred and I had the kids' Christmas presents purchased before Thanksgiving. Then, when an unexpected gift or errand popped up during the two weeks before Christmas, it wasn't such a big deal---because I didn't have to tack it on to a huge list of other things to do. I may have spent a few more dollars this way since I wasn't shopping on Black Friday or the December sales, but sanity is priceless!

Advent Traditions---Advent wreath, Advent calendar, etc.
Since we are Christian, Advent is a time of preparation, a time of waiting. Beginning the Sunday after Thanksgiving (roughly), we have four weeks of preparation for Christmas. We light Advent candles and have devotions at dinner. The kids have Advent calendars with Bible verses leading to the birth of the Savior. Four weeks of preparation helps keep Christmas from sneaking up on you.

This is probably a good place to point out (get ready for a shock) that our family doesn't choose to put emphasis on Santa Claus. Although it goes against popular culture, Fred and I decided before Jewel was born that we were going to teach her the truth about Saint Nicholas---of his kindness and generosity that was born out of his family's faith in Christ---and how we can follow his example by sharing gifts with family, friends and those in need. It has served us well. Jewel is a perfect joy to watch at Christmas; she revels in each celebration and seems at times to overflow with excitement about what she terms "The best season of the year!!!"

(I have to put a disclaimer here for family and friends who are reading---just because we don't do Santa doesn't mean we have a problem with people who do. We simply choose to approach Christmas a little differently.)

Family Reunion
Fred's family has a huge Christmas party the first Saturday each December. The only catch is, that means a drive to Maryland or Virginia. Could be stressful, but isn't, because we adore the members from that side of the family. I think it also helps that we know exactly when the reunion will be held, so we can mark it in the calendar months ahead of time. The reunion is definitely a keeper.

Christmas Tree/Nativity Set/Train
We had planned to set up the tree and the train on the same day. That didn't happen, and it worked out better that way. The kids are at an age where a little excitement goes a long way! For next year we will plan to set the tree up on the second weekend of December, with the train following on the third weekend.

Live Nativity
We had hoped to find a local live nativity at a church. We inadvertantly ended up at the live nativity that follows a local Light-Up Night parade. It was fun to see the camels, but the kids didn't get as much out of it as they would a live nativity set up for teaching at a church. I'd like to research my options more for next year in this area.

Christmas Program
Jewel's school does a different Christmas musical each year, followed by a recitation of the second chapter of Luke. Their music teacher turns this into a phenomenal event---not to be missed!

Christmas Open House
With Haven on the way to completion we wanted to hold an open house for neighbors. We set a date back in November for an open house the third weekend in December. Two weeks before, I bailed. I think it has something to do with the fact that our family has two birthdays in December. I just wasn't up for holding another party, so I did the smart thing and never sent invitations. We will be holding the open house in February or March, which will be a much better time for a party.

Rite Aid/Hartwood Acres Light Display
This was the first year that we drove down for the lights at Hartwood Acres. We had a great experience! Tuba Boy took a nap during the 45-minute drive to Hartwood, but we were able to wake him for the lights. If you've never gone, the 3 & 1/2 mile route is ablaze with light and is a sight to behold. Definitely a tradition to keep.

Train Museum Show
Tuba Boy and Fred traveled to a local train show, and Granddad is still planning to take Tuba Boy to the train museum. This is something we had to reevaluate this year, as Jewel is not quite as enthralled with trains as she used to be. This seems to be a tradition that we will alter---maybe change it into "The boys go to the trains, the girls go do xyz." I want Tuba Boy to go since he enjoys it, but I don't want to drag Jewel along, as that would translate into a poor experience for all.

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day Church Services
Our Christmas Eve service was a true pleasure. We were blessed to have R out from Lutherlyn to preach. It was the candlelight service; Tuba Boy asked to hold his own candle this year. Seeing the kids sing along to my favorite Christmas hymns brought an unspeakable joy to my heart.

Christmas morning brought freezing rain, so no Christmas morning service. I would have been more disappointed had we hadn't had such a fantastic Christmas Eve service. As an additional note, if we want to go to Christmas morning service next year, we will have to get up earlier. The kids didn't roll out of bed until 7:30 this morning. It would be difficult to open presents and leave by 9:00 a.m. for church.

Christmas Day Itinerary
We have evolved to opening our presents as soon as the kids wake us up. We gather for a thank-you prayer next to the nativity scene, then the kids unearth the treasures in their stockings. They move on to their bigger presents, which they know are from us, and usually are three to four in number. (Part of that is budget constraint, part is wanting to depart from Affluenza...) Something we encourage is to open a toy and spend time playing with it before ripping into the next gift. It takes longer to open gifts, but it's more pleasant for everyone.
We move on to my parents' house to open presents with them. (For us this is conveniently located next door.)

I hosted dinner this year. I enjoyed preparing the meal for my family, but I'm not locked into preparing certain holiday meals. It's nice when everyone can take turns between being a host and a guest. The next time I cook Christmas dinner, I'm going to aim for a later mealtime. I aimed for 2:00 p.m., and my 20-lb. turkey wasn't ready until 3:30 p.m. Something that turned out well was a recipe I found for rolls that you make the night before and allow to rise in the refrigerator overnight. Another giant success (at least as far as Tuba Boy was concerned) was the inclusion of Grandma's Applesauce Jell-o.

Christmas Day Hike
Hiking on Christmas was something that Fred and I decided to include early in our marriage. With kids, church, presents and dinner (and limited daylight), this just isn't feasible anymore. So we'll put it on the shelf for now, and retrieve it in the future when we have a little more time in our day.

Christmas Day Feast For Songbirds
A few years ago Fred and I set out to establish a few Christmas Day traditions that didn't revolve around receiving presents. In one of Jewel's Barney picture books the characters set out a feast for the woodland creatures. We've focused mainly on putting out food for the songbirds, with great success. This year we were visited by Downy woodpeckers, Black-capped Chickadees, Titmice, Nuthatches, Cardinals and Juncos. It's a great tool for teaching about giving to others, for caring for creation.



All in All...
Looking back, I have to say that this year's Christmas was my favorite to date. I feel like we've really honed in on what's important to our family, without feeling pressured to participate in things we don't really care for.

Take five minutes. Make a list of what you do at Christmas. What do you enjoy? Put those things on the calendar for next year. What are you ambivalent about? If it won't create World War III, get rid of it! Stick your list in a place where you'll be sure to spot it right after Thanksgiving. You'll be on the right path to creating a meaningful holiday with the people who matter most.

Merry Christmas!
xoxo

Something Beautiful

I do so like green eggs and ham.  I do!  I like them, Sam I am."
     -Green Eggs and Ham, Dr. Seuss

Today, it's all about the eggs. 

Today's Something Beautiful was donated by one of my Easter Eggers, Hawk or Little Girl.  In the photo below, you can see the tufts of feathers near Little Girl's ears, and her grayish-greenish legs.  Easter Eggers are descended from a breed from South America.  Their trademark calling card?  Eggs that are a delicate shade of bluish-green.

Eggs just like this one:

Did you come across something beautiful today?

-Grace

Through the Eyes of a Child

It's been rather snowy/icy/windy here as of late.  While this doesn't inherently bother me, it does make it a bit more difficult to get around.  Due to school delays, it became necessary for me to drive Jewel and My Boy this morning.  Granddad very nicely offered the use of his Honda CRV, which gave me a little more confidence about the back roads.

Twenty minutes into our commute, it became apparent that the CRV had no windshield washer fluid.  A minor annoyance.  Since we were already heading to the store after preschool, I decided we would surprise Granddad by filling the fluid for him.

And---did I mention that it was absolutely freezing here today?  Okay, to my friends in Alaska and Minnesota, it may not seem cold.  But our wind chill was around ten degrees below zero.  And my darling coat from LLBean (with coordinating hat and mittens) was no match for today's wintry blast.

I was standing outside the grocery, trying to find the latch to open the hood to the car.  My Boy, who is Ever So Helpful, was pointing out all the switches to momma.  "Look Mom, it's that one!"  (As he points to the button for the sun roof.)  After about ten suggestions, I nicely told him to let momma look.  After all, I've been driving a car for about twenty years.  (Yes, I actually said something that stupid.)

My Boy:  "But Momma, I see it!"

Momma Superior:  "No, you don't.  You can't.  How would you have any idea what it looks like?"

My Boy:  "But Momma, I really do see it.  Look!"

And sure enough, when my gaze followed his chubby finger, there it was.  Small, square, but most definitely a picture of a car with the front hood up.  Absolutely invisible from my angle on the driver's side, but perfectly in his line of sight.

I immediately apologized for belittling his attempts to help, and thanked him for his persistance in trying to communicate with me.  Persistance---properly channeled---is a fantastic attribute that will serve him well in the future. 

It also made me think, what other things do our kids see, that we do not?  Which issue, if we could but consider it from their angle, would make more sense than it does from our grown-up perspective?  What problems might we solve (big or small) if we could look beyond our experience in the driver's seat?

Today was a simple reminder that once in a while, I might want to try the view from back seat---just like My Boy.

A Rainbow of Hope (Our very best gift exchange idea!)

It all started when my friend Jess arrived at church this morning.  Jess recently became a sponsor for BeadforLife.

"BeadforLife eradicates extreme poverty by creating bridges of understanding between impoverished Africans and concerned world citizens. Ugandan women turn colorful recycled paper into beautiful beads. Women in Northern Uganda gather shea nuts and press them into shea butter for cosmetics and soaps. And people who care open their hearts, homes and communities to buy and sell both products."
                                                                                     ---http://www.beadforlife.org/

One of the best things about BeadforLife is that so much of the money from the sale of beads goes directly to the women in Uganda.  Out of every $10.00, only $0.48 is needed for administrative cost.  The rest is used by the women for their families---for food, shelter, medicine, and schooling.

As it turned out, Jess was holding an open house after church, so I took Jewel.  She loves pretty things, so I planned to buy her a bracelet.  We looked through the many bracelets Jess had but none were small enough for Jewel's wrist.  Then we saw the bags of loose beads.

We already had stretchy string at home, and Jewel was excited at the prospect of getting to choose the beads for her bracelet.   

We poured out the beads and got to work.  Jewel has two Secret Santa-type gift exchanges, so she created a bracelet for each of those.  Then it was time to fashion one for herself.

This is the bracelet she made for a friend in second grade.  Jess gave us little cards on BeadforLife, which we tucked inside.  I smile to think of a woman in Uganda, making beads that will be worn by a small child in rural Pennsylvania.

Leftover beads for future inspiration! 

I was so excited that Jewel thought this was a good idea for her Secret Santa gifts.  They are absolutely beautiful bracelets.  Moreover, the money we spent for the beads will make a difference in the lives of others across the globe.

* * * * * * *

(And the gift exchange?  Breaking it down into dollars and cents---
The beads we purchased cost $15.00.  We already owned the stretchy string.  There are enough beads to make at least six bracelets, bringing the cost per gift down to $2.50 each.  Making a difference and staying within our budget.)

-Grace

Greening Your Child's Gift Exchange

(First of all, please accept my apologies for turning "green" into a verb for the title.  It was too catchy to pass up!)

* * * * * * *

It's that time of year again.  Time to wrap up the business of the classroom and enjoy a few holiday activities before a well-deserved Christmas vacation.  The last hurrah?  An afternoon party to celebrate the holiday, complete with games, crafts, a treat, and a gift exchange.

I adored the gift exchanges in elementary school!  They were the highlight of any class party, saved for the very end before boarding the bus for home.  I can remember books, lip gloss sets, Hello Kitty notepads with tiny pens.  All designed to delight, which they did.

As a parent trying to teach children about a lifestyle where we reduce waste, gift exchanges set off my radar.  As adults, we encourage exchanges between children to be inexpensive, which I'm all for.  (After all, the point is to share joy with others, and that doesn't have to cost a lot of money.)  The problem is, a cheap gift often means a trip to the dollar store, where merchandise is usually imported and made of heaven-only-knows what kind of material.  Gifts of this nature are designed to be used a few times and thrown away---the exact opposite of what we're trying to teach our kids.

But---it doesn't have to be that way!  Inexpensive does not have to mean cheap or disposable.  We have two gift exchanges on the horizon, and my daughter and I have been thinking outside the box.  Here is our starter list of gifts that are homemade or manufactured/purchased locally.  Enjoy!


Gift Certificates
A $5.00 gift limit may not seem like much, but $5.00 to a local ice cream establishment is a perfect gift for those with a sweet tooth.  Children can use card stock to design a gift card holder that is just right.

Homemade Treats
For a few dollars, you can purchase chocolate for melting and pretzel rods for making chocolate-covered pretzels; add a few red-and-green sprinkles for a festive holiday look.  Rice crispy treats are another fun favorite; use a Christmas cookie cutter to make extra-fun shapes!  Carmel corn and trail mix are two more homemade favorites that are sure to please.

Handmade Ornaments
One of my favorite handmade ornament recipes is for cinnamon-applesauce ornaments:
---Mix 3 cups applesauce*** and 3 cups cinnamon together until it is thick enough to hold a form when cut into cookie cutter shapes. Flatten the mixture on a flat surface and cut into a variety of shapes.
---Place cookie shapes on a cookie sheet to dry for 3 to 4 days depending on the size and thickness of the cookies. If using as a hanging ornament, make hole with toothpick before drying.  Tie with a ribbon for a finishing touch.

(***As a reader noted, three cups is a lot of cinnamon!  This recipe uses a 1:1 ratio, so it's easy to adjust it and make just one ornament.  Remember, this isn't the time to pull out your jar of organic cinnamon.  Rather, head to a nearby discount store and buy the cheapest cinnamon you can find.  It'll still smell yummy!)

For the Girly Girl
As the mother of a girl, I take special exception to the cheap garbage "jewelry" sold in many stores.  Just last year, items of this variety were recalled due to high levels of lead and cadmium.  An alternative is to purchase a spool of stretchy beading line and a strand of small stone beads.  For under $5.00, you can create a pretty bracelet for the fashion-conscious.

  

Read All About It

A gift certificate to the local bookstore is the perfect gift for the child who likes to spend time lost in a book---and many children's trade books retail for $3.99 or $4.99.  Combine this with a homemade bookmark made of felt or cardstock to hold their place for years to come.



Look Local
Don't assume you need to visit a large store to find inexpensive gifts.  Our local, family-owned toystore has a great display of small toys manufactured within an hour from here---train whistles, pick-up sticks, checkers, marbles, etc.

Keep thinking!  What small gifts can you imagine for gift exchanges this Christmas season?

Thanks for visiting!
Grace

(Images by Free-StockPhotos.com)

Where does all our water go?

I found a nifty site today, called All About Toilets. Charming, huh? I wish I could cut and paste their chart. They have a great graph of Daily Residential Indoor Water Use (which I would retitle, "Where does all our water go?") According to their statistics, in homes that do not conserve water, 26.7% of the water used goes to flushing the toilet. That's 91 gallons a day for the average American household.

So let's just start there. Because some of you will be surprised by the feature of our home that I'm choosing to share about today, and maybe that statistic will help you understand our choice a little bit better.

A visitor to the bathroom in our home is quick to notice unfamiliar territory: that of the composting toilet. Look carefully. See, no handle to flush?

Our unit is manufactured by Clivus Multrum, a leader in the composting toilet industry for over fifty years. Their toilets have been used in parks, commercial buildings and homes.

But what is a composting toilet?
It's exactly what it sounds like. It's a compost pile for people waste that is given the right conditions (temperature, moisture, time, etc.) to allow the material to break down fairly rapidly.

The composter tank itself is the holding tank in the basement. Two chutes (one from the first floor bathroom, one from the second) channel bathroom waste into the tank. We add wood shavings; an automatic sprayer adds the right amount of water; air is constantly pulled through with a fan. Bacteria and beneficial organisms convert the "organic material" into a much smaller volume of compost. Aerobic decomposition at its finest. It's a simple process.

(Please excuse the plywood. We're in the middle of a project.)

(Photo from the front of the tank. The black square door is the access port to the compost pile.)

There are three common questions we get about our system:

Does it smell?
Hard to imagine that it doesn't, isn't it? But it doesn't! Remember---you only get a smell of decay from anaerobic decomposition, when something is stagnant and not exposed to air. On this unit, there is a fan pulling air through the chamber 24-hours a day. That constant motion of air keeps things breaking down aerobically and there is no buildup of odor. Phew!

How often do you end up emptying the tank?
I can't truly answer that for this specific tank, because it's been a year and a half, and we're nowhere ready to empty it. When Fred and I had a smaller model composting toilet at Terra Dei, we emptied it out after a few years. Know how much compost came out? Less than two buckets.

What do you do with the compost?
Fair question. I know some people are cringing in front of their screens, thinking, "I'm never eating anything from her organic garden again!" Relax...
---First, I would never put compost of this nature on any food-related plant. It's just a mental turnoff. (However, just for sharing's sake, the Center for Biology of Natural Systems at Washington University in St. Louis carried out extensive tests on Clivus systems and end products. The bacteria found in the end product are the same that you find if you go dig a shovelful of dirt outside your house.)
---Second, we have a contract in place for a waste management company to come remove the compost from the chamber every few years. This was required by our sewage enforcement agency when they agreed to approve our application.

We realize that not everyone will be able to embrace the idea of the composting toilet. What if you happen to fall into that category, but still care about the environment and want to reduce the amount of water you flush down the toilet?

Thanks to the writers at the National Wildlife Federation, here are some tips for saving water in your home:

"You can save water wherever you live. If the owners of a typical 10-year-old home installed water-efficient toilets, dishwashers and clothes washers, they could save 18,700 gallons yearly, the U.S. Department of Energy says. Also, every month a family of four can save the following amounts by:


Fixing leaky faucets and toilets that flush themselves: 500 gallons
Running your washing machine only when it is full: up to 2,400 gallons
Keeping your shower under 5 minutes: up to 1,000 gallons
Installing low-volume toilets: about 480 gallons
Installing a low-flow showerhead: more than 2,000 gallons
Turning off water while brushing teeth: 800 gallons
Ensuring that your toilet flapper isn’t sticking when flushing: 900 gallons or more
Turning off the water while you shave: more than 400 gallons
Total saved monthly: more than 8,500 gallons"
(Source: www.nwf.org)

Thanks for visiting!
Grace



Resources:
Clivus Multrum Incorporated
15 Union Street
Lawrence, MA 01840
800-425-4887
(As always, you may assume that I was not compensated in any way, shape or form for writing this post. I am thrilled with our installed system, and just wanted to pass information along. Thanks!)

Cisterns: Pros & Cons

(Illustration of the hydrologic cycle by Tre` Arenz, taken from Rainwater Collection For the Mechanically Challenged.)

Very few things in life are 100% positive, cisterns included.  Way back when I first started writing about our homestead, I vowed to be upfront with the good, the bad & the ugly.  Here's what Fred and I have compiled:  the pros and cons of catching your rainwater in a cistern.

* * * * * * *

Pros:
1.  Independence from public water supply. 
We are 100% on our own, which means that we control what's added---or not added---to our water.  When you turn on a faucet in our home, you are not greeted with the smell of chlorinated water.

2.  Cost
After installation (which is comparable to drilling a well), monthly cost to filter the water is minimal.

3.  Ability to avoid polluted groundwater.
This one is big for me.  Pennsylvania is currently going through the growing pains with drilling and fracking our Marcellus Shale layer.  There isn't much legislation in place to govern the drilling companies and mandate responsibility to the citizens of our state regarding the cleanliness of our drinking water.  And while contamination from fracking fluids isn't terribly common, groundwater is a tricky thing to keep track of, impossible to control.  I'm able to avoid having to wonder if my water is contaminated, simply because my water doesn't come from the ground.

4.  Soft water
In terms of hardness/softness, rainwater is on the softer side.  In addition, we're able to avoid common well problems such as iron or sulfur.

5.  Access
I have access to water, even if the power were to be out for quite a bit of time.  Even if I needed to collect it by hand from the tank and boil it on the stove in an emergency situation, I would still have access to water.  (As an aside, since we have a waterless toilet, we can still use our bathroom even if the power is out.)



Cons:
1.  Cost
Initial cost, depending where you live and what pieces of the system you need to purchase, can be the same as the cost for drilling a well.  In our case, we spent $7,675.00.

2.  Responsibility
No two ways about it, you need to be responsible individual if you want to harvest rain as your only supply of water.  Each job is small, but needs to be done if the system is to run properly.  Filters need to be changed monthly.  Gutters must be cleaned out, so excess gunk doesn't try to wash into the tanks.  pH needs to be monitored.  The roof washer must be emptied out in preparation for the next rainstorm.  You need to keep the weather forecast in mind---if it looks like the weekend holds the largest storm for the fall, you had better be at home to open and close the roof washer, to catch every precious drop of water. 

* * * * * * *

There you have it---the ups and downs as we see it.  As with everything, there was a bit of a learning curve, but we are very pleased with our rainwater collection system.  Our cisterns have been a fantastic investment in a system that will work well for many years to come. 

What's it going to cost me?

Boy, that could be the title for so many posts!  I wanted to do a short post on the cost of our cistern setup.  Because let's face it---either you find catching your water appealing or not.  And if you do, one of your first questions needs to be, "What would it cost for me to set up a water catchment system?"

Keep in mind, these numbers are from two years ago.  The number one rule in construction is that prices are constantly on the rise.

Four fiberglass tanks, 1,500 gallons each---$5,700.00  ($838.00 of this was freight charges.)
Roof Washer---$875.00
Pump---$600.00
Filters/UV light---$500.00

So starting from scratch, our system cost $7,675.00.  Yes, that's a lot of money.  You have to factor in that at the time of construction, we were comparing the cost of a cistern to the cost of drilling a new well.  A few of you have mentioned having stone cisterns on your property.  Your investment cost would be a lot less, considering that you don't have to buy storage tanks.

To be continued.

Coming on Sunday:  Costs vs. Benefits of Catching Your Water in a Cistern

Thanks for visiting!
Grace

Splurge

Okay---yesterday I left with the promise that I would share our "water splurge".  Ready?

During construction, Fred and I put a Jacuzzi in our bedroom.

I know!  Totally inconsistent with the "good-for-the-environment" side of me.  Doesn't really fit with the "saving water by using a composting toilet", except maybe that it helps me justify having it.  ;)

Here's the thing:  I believe in splurging from time to time.  Before Fred and I had children, we had an overnight getaway each winter.  Sometimes it coincided with cross country skiing.  More often than not, it involved a nice hotel room, complete with a whirlpool bath.

When we were looking to build our home there were many areas where we cut costs, but we decided to allow ourselves one splurge item.  Different people choose to splurge on different things in life---travel, cars, appliances, computers, etc.  Our splurge was to purchase a Jacuzzi.

This nook of our room is still under construction.  At some point, the concrete board in the picture will be tiled.  We have the tile.  Now we just need the time!  Another note:  just because you want to splurge on an item doesn't mean you need to pay full price.  We only paid 1/2 the retail cost by purchasing the Jacuzzi at our local Builder's Surplus.

Because we depend on a cistern system for water, we are judicious about our water use.  Jacuzzi use is somewhat seasonal, more readily available in the spring and falling-into-winter months.  

It's why you won't ever catch me complaining about rain.

Water is a blessing.

-Grace