The times when our kids are cute and when we want to put them in solitary.
When we get the unexpected refund and when the budget is tight.
Because it's all part of the same package. Without struggles, moments of ease have less meaning. And it robs our work when we only write about the pretty parts of life.
* * * * * * *
It's been one of those weeks. Not with my kids---they're great. And not with work, some of my kiddos are making great progress.
Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. However, it comes on the tail end of property-tax time, which makes for a very tight season. So tight that it can make a girl's smile a wee bit worn. It's that age-old money demon, coming to taunt once again. We've always been able to make it work, and I trust that this month will be the same.
Some days, it brings me dangerously close to thinking, "Did we make the wrong choices?"
I chose to stay home with my kids.
I choose daily to teach in Christian schools, and Todd chooses to teach at a Christian camp.
The What-Ifs creep in close and fierce, and I push away at their grubby fingers.
I received a letter in the mail yesterday from our Compassion daughter, who lives in a rural region in India. We've been writing to one another for about two years. I love the picture she sent, showing me the things she bought with the money we sent for her birthday. She purchased a new midi (dress), a backpack to help carry her books to school, and a chair. She writes, "a chair will be useful to me while studying at home."
I set the letter down on my dining room table, still extended from Thanksgiving.
I count the chairs...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...and the spot on the end where we put the piano bench because there "weren't enough seats."
It's not a guilt thing. I don't feel guilty for the pure chance that I was born in this country while she was born in hers.
But it is conviction---and a reminder of all that I take for granted every day.
That taxes are a blessing because it means we own property.
Leftovers are carefully incorporated into future meals, and we have nourishing food to eat.
Bargains are found at thrift shops, and we always have enough clean clothing to wear.
And in this season especially, that Christmas is not measured by the things you can purchase, but in the love and service you are able to give to others.
* * * * * * *
#14...for a hole in the ceiling through which a chimney rises
#15...for R, who reminds me of the gifts I'm given
#16...for water that washes us clean
#17...for the sunshine that streams through the windows and warms the space inside


yes, yes and YES. thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteYou're not the only family going through these discussions and thoughts. Thanks for writing this blog. It's a good reminder for ALL of us (especially me) to be grateful for what I have.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shayne.
I commend you for your honesty and your writing ability....you are in ministry. When we choose our vocation, we sometimes wonder what would have happened if we stayed in the public sector. (I would have pursued a Ph.D in Spokane, Washington at Eastern Washington University, and I would have been teaching in a top district of Spokane, District 81. I had great encouragement to do so). Instead, I also became a wife who moved with her husband and I had two children close together. It wasn't easy. I started at St. Luke thinking I would possibly go back to to public education, but I never did. Somehow, God blessed my work at St. Luke and He journeyed with our family through two bouts of cancer (both Stage 3) within two years of one another....father and son. God blessed us. I feel in my soul, that God was honoring my Christian work and outreach by healing the cancer in my loved ones. I make my mistakes, but I try to serve God....and things DO seem to fall in line. There are Bible passages to back me up, but as a friend along the sidelines....I see God using you Shayne. Hang in there. God will provide.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing about your Compassion girl....we had one too. I loved hearing how she used our donations. Yes, she put things in perspective for us too.
I hadn't thought of those taxes as a reminder for the abundant blessings in my life. What a wake-up call! I am so thankful to have a house, so that I have a place to sit... and a place to tuck all the extras chairs that I don't use everyday :)
ReplyDeleteKeep on going momma...you're doing well and it will be spring again before you know it!
ReplyDelete